LAME

I never used to be this way. In fact, I used to constantly belittle people who looked, acted, felt this way. I'm talking NO RESPECT. Even when I was in a situation where there were countless possibilities of actually being this way.

I swore to never go down this cornball road.

Yet here I am, as cheesy in love as you can get.

I'm talking every sappy cutesy itty bitty love feeling there is.

I feel it.

You know, there was once a time where I had no heart.

Well, not physically of course.

I suppose it resulted from my string of shitty relationships and awful decisions.

But whatever.

The point is, I once had someone tell me that I looked like I ate SOULS for breakfast.

Yeah.

That was said.

About me.

SOULS.

Like I was some sort of mythical creature that snatched naughty people away in the night.

And then all of a sudden..

POOF.

Ryan comes back into my life and I'm head over heels!

Damn him!!!!!!!!

Have you ever seen The Grinch? How his heart grew three sizes?

Mine grows five sizes every time someone mentions his NAME.

Ryan's.... not the Grinch's.

And I don't know what to do about it! I can't stop it! 

Every love song, good and lame.. reminds me of him!

I smile every time I think about him, I glow when I see him.

And I am never more content than I am when I am in the same room with him.

It's sickening. I have a terminal illness. 

And I'm afraid there is no cure.

You bring out the lame in me babe(:

Favorite thing for the day? 

My Air Force blanket of course (: 

Ryan gave it to me when he came home on his first leave.

That wasn't exactly the greatest time, and honestly... 

I thought we weren't going to last much longer after that...

but... things have got to get worse before they can get better right?

And that they did.

We are better now than we ever been before.

And... I sleep with this blanket every night<3

Valentines day is coming up, and I can't wait to start making his box!

I think I have a pretty decent idea... I'll let you guys know as it develops more though!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Favorite me favorite you favorite thing

I've been browsing a lot of blogs lately, and I've noticed that a lot of you lovely ladies post pictures of their "Favorite Things." I think that is a great idea, and it is so easy to get creative with! So from now on, with every post, I will include a picture of one of my favorite things.

Today's favorite thing is none other than Bunny the Destroyer! My 3 year old mini Holland Lop rabbit!
This little fluffy nugget is my baby! He is ridiculously friendly, and loves to be in the middle of it all. His favorite foods are cheerios, cheez-its, grapes, and any salad I happen to be eating.He makes me feel right when everything else is oh so wrong<3 Right now he is sitting at my feet chewing on a rice stick >.< I am debating on breeding him with my friend's bunny so that they can make little tri-colored babies. A lot of my friends want one, so I would get to watch his babies grow up :D It's just a thought ;]

Anyway, deployment honestly is not the big scary monster that I was building it up to be. Before he left I gave Ryan my ideal deployment communication "standards", which were one Skype call a week, and one facebook comment a day so that I knew he was alive and well. A lot of people were telling me that it wasn't enough and blah blah blah, but Ryan and I work in an odd way. I also wasn't sure what his communication capabilities would be or what amount of spare time he would have. I am glad to say that he has MORE than exceeded my "standards" ;D He pretty much calls me every day, and we video chat for an hour minimum each time. It is amazing to say the least. I don't know why we never really used Skype while he was in Washington, it makes communication so much easier and interesting for us. He has been sick the past few days though, and I feel so bad that he is most likely going to be sick and flying on his birthday (which is in two days.) I sent his box out though! He was having trouble getting his address, so I sent it to his friend Caleb, which just happens to be Kelsey's boyfriend over at http://kelseylaurenusaf.blogspot.com/ ! He was SUPPOSED to keep it a secret and give the box to Ryan when it arrived, but those females gossip more than actual females! I believe Ryan's words were "Oh yeah babe, Caleb told me about your secret box fiasco... and then he told me not to tell you that he told me...." -_________- FAIL CALEB! haha It is ok though, in a way I am kind of glad because at least he will know that he has something coming for his birthday... even if it takes 2 weeks + to get there >.<

When I send out his Valentine's Day box, I am going to swear Caleb to secrecy though haha

On a parting note, I recently discovered the likes of flickr, and realized that if you go to the website and click on Last 7 Days link at the bottom of the page, the week's most interesting photos pop up. There are some really great photos there, and if you are fan of photography like I am.. you will appreciate the work.
Hope everyone is having a lovely Monday!

Lazy Sunday

SUNDAY! My ONLY day off! It has been glorious thus far. I talked to Ryan for 2 and a half hours on Skype last night, slept in until noon, and now I am all showered and comfy in my Steelers jersey.

Later on today a bunch of us are going to play monopoly at my house (yes... we really are nerds), but we spice it up a little bit. We are going out and buying a bunch of goodies and prizes and what not, so if you land on certain things or pull certain cards you win a prize.... alcohol and candy obviously haha (Sundays are my free days when it comes to my diet! Which I have been doing really well with by the way)  If I remember, I will post pictures later on.

For now, here is a cute little graphic I found.
This is quite literally how Ryan and I sleep haha(:

We just need to color the hair on the guy red,
and change the girl's shirt to a football jersesy because
I would never wear pink ;D
Have a love Sunday everyone!

One of those days...

You know the type of day I am referring to right? The type of day where you want something so damn bad, and NOTHING else can even come close to taking that spot? So much so that you'd rather keep to yourself than try to drown yourself in false hopes and disappointment? The type of day that you know there is just no hope in trying to fix, and your best bet is just to let it run its course?

THAT is the type of day that I am having.

I miss Ryan. Don't get me wrong, I miss him EVERY day, but today... today HURTS. I don't want to socialize, I don't want to prioritize, I don't want to do anything. It hit me fast. It hit me hard. This morning, I woke up and noticed that Ryan had posted a little "love you :D" comment on my facebook before he reported for his flight, and I just BEAMED. I skipped off to work with a smile on my face. All throughout my shift I walked around in the highest of spirits. Then, it was time to head home. I took a shower, put on the jersey he bought me, and laid down to watch Pirates of the Caribbean (it was on TV). And I fell apart. All I could think about was being in his room back at Fairchild. His jersey on, squished on his tiny bed, his arms wrapped tight around me, watching all of his random Netflix shows. I would give ANYTHING for that. Every minute of every hour of every day. I'd give anything for that.

I know I am supposed to be patient. I know that this comes with the lifestyle, but that doesn't mean that I can't have a rough time with it once in awhile. I wouldn't trade my Airman for anything. I regret no choice that I've made concerning him this time around. I don't regret waiting for him. I'd wait forever for him.

It's just hard.
Today it is hard.

But it is worth it.
I want him.
I want all of him.


I'm not going anywhere.

Home is Where the Giveaway is!

Once again, sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blogging! I just started school, and my two jobs again so I am a bit stretched for time O_o 

That being said, I am entering my first giveaway! 

Most, if not all of you follow Kelsey at http://kelseylaurenusaf.blogspot.com

So you most likely already know about the giveaway she is hosting! 

She is giving away Siobhan Fallon's book, "You Know When the Men are Gone."

(Which she said was fantastic by the way ;D)

 

Even if I don't come out victorious at the end of this, I plan on giving it a read :D

So get your behinds over to her page and fulfill all of the entrance requirements!

Oh, and today is Ryan and my anniversary! :D <3

I love you babe!