THAT'S IT!!!!!!! >:(

I am so tired of feeling this way. It is time to make some changes and starting tomorrow, it is SO on. I am going to lose weight. My goal is 15 pounds gone by the time Ryan comes home in March. I don't think I am terribly unhealthy, but I know I can be better. When I was younger, I was really overweight, and then I lost 45 pounds. That was about 6 years ago now, and since then I've probably gained 5lbs.... so at least I haven't gained it back or anything. I HAVEN'T LOST ANY EITHER THOUGH!!!!!!!!! 

It also doesn't help that my boyfriend has the ultimate freak metabolism! Seriously, that boy literally CAN'T gain weight -_- PLUS! He eats like a total cow. I gain weight just LOOKING at him eat. He has a legitimate six-pack! And other strategically placed muscles! I can't feel like this while my man looks like THAT.... So officially, TOMORROW.. I will turn over a new leaf (cliche) and I will start being more active and eating healthy. Now... I haven't looked at a scale in about 5 years (when I go to the doctors I ask them not to put it on my paper or tell me, they only tell me if I've gained or lost :X) so I don't know how I will keep track of this, but I'm sure it will show if I feel it. Oh, and I am well aware that I will NEVER look like those lovely Victoria's Secret models, but I want to feel sexy when I wear all of those things that they get PAID to wear -_- (Oh, and Adriana Lima.. the one in the middle... she's my wife<3) All I need is a push and a little will power. I have 67 days to make MYSELF happy. Let's see if I can do this. 

Anyway. back to my Airman! Christmas morning Ryan has a flight :( So no Skype till later that night or maybe early the 26th. On the 25th I am going to breakfast at his Dad's house though so that should be fun. I already know they are going to ask me 365746957143718173543million questions about Ryan :X I always get so nervous around them. Then, on the 26th I am going to brunch with his momma!(: IT IS GOING TO BE SO HARD TO EAT WELL! haha But I can do it. 

I am sad though :( Another holiday without my man. I gave him his present before he left for deployment, but it breaks my heart knowing he won't actually have anything ON Christmas from me. I am sending him a box of goodies soon though in honor of our anniversary and his birthday(:

Day 3- My Parents

I know you are hurt with me, and even though I don't agree... know that I understand. I love you, and I appreciate everything you have done for me... but it is time to let me do what I must. You raised a good girl, a girl who shouldn't have to feel guilty about decisions that have made her unbelievably happy. I hope one day you can understand.

Wish me luck!